Second Weakness
by WingedWolf121
Summary: It all started with winning Nationals. Really, Kurt was surprised that Sue felt like she had an obligation to help him out. Even more surprising was that her little tip about Jesse's sexuality seemed to be correct. Kurt/Jesse
1. Chapter 1

Title: Second Weakness

Author: WingedWolf 121

Summary: It all started with winning Nationals. Really, Kurt was surprised that Sue felt like she had an obligation to help him out. Even more surprising was that her little tip about Jesse's sexuality seemed to be correct. Kurt/Jesse

A/N: I know I should be updating "Dance of Love" but I had this idea about Kurt and Jesse that wouldn't let me go. I also want to say that while I got the idea because Jonathan Groff is gay, his performance on Glee is spectacular and completely straight, regardless of what annoying authors in Newsweek think. I just felt like slashing these two, because I think they're cute together.

It all started with Coach Sylvester. Kurt was still high off actually winning that enormous trophy, and the knowledge that a good part of it had been thanks to his 15 minute Celine Dion number.

"Gay kid!" Kurt motioned for Brittany to go on and turned to look at the Coach. "I realize that your number played a substantial part in winning me my sixth straight national championship."

Kurt opened his mouth, about to say something along the lines of "Everyone did their part", when the Coach held up a hand.

"Now, never let it be said that Sue Sylvester isn't a fair person, so I figure I might as well give your pathetic little glee club a shot at actually meaning something. Now, who's your main competition at regional's? Vocal Adrenaline, that equally pathetic but better funded club of heartless freaks. But they have _one weakness_."

"They can't pull off funk?" Sue rolled her eyes.

"You pathetic little glee clubbers, always thinking in music. No, I mean their main singer, the one with the annoying hair. Use him to get them." Kurt frowned and wondered what she was talking about.

"He doesn't care about Rachel, he crushed egg into her forehead and gave her nightmares about chickens." Sue groaned.

"And you claim to be gay…let me tell you, this brilliant mind knows her gays. And I happen to know that Jesse St. James is so deep in the closet, he's fondling Mr. Tumnus."

For a few seconds, Kurt was too blown away by the fact that _Sue Sylvester_ had read the Chronicles of Narnia to realize what she had said.

"What?"

"Go get your gaydar tested gay kid, he dances with beautiful girls all day and never even tries to get dirty with them? Not straight." Sue leaned in, evil written all over her face.

"Now, if I've taught you one thing being a Cheerio, it should have been how to exploit, manipulate, and lie to people. Now go, screw with his head, and take regionals. If Vocal Adrenaline loses, the school will take away their budget, and this acclaimed cheerleading coach knows exactly how to siphon it into a summer project for future cheerleaders, which I will be in charge of. Pick up a brochure in the guidance office."

So it came to be that Kurt was lurking by a very large range rover, wearing tight pants and a silky shirt that would be easy for someone to tear off.

Not that he planned for it to get that far. But he talked this over with Brittany and Santana (The only glee clubbers with real experience in _successfully_ picking up men), and both said that this shirt was the one. It really was a nice shirt too, nearly see through and very good for emphasizing his curves.

According to Santana, gay men liked guys with a bit of curve. Kurt hadn't asked how she knew.

Back to the point, Kurt was freezing in front of a 7-11, wondering what on earth Jesse could be buying that would take him half an hour to pay for. He was at the point of leaving and harassing Jesse tomorrow when he heard footsteps on the pavement.

Kurt stepped in front of the car door, swallowing down his nervousness. Jesse was attractive in that leather jacket, and come to think of it he looked better in leather than Finn.

"You're that Kurt kid from New Directions aren't you?" Jesse asked, eyeing him from over a grocery bag.

"Yes." Oh god oh god, don't throw up over his shoes, that's a huge turn off.

"If this is about Rachel, tell her to send someone else to beat me up. Sending you is insulting." Kurt glared at him.

"Oh believe me, this has nothing to do with that." What was it Mr. Schue said about expressing one's anger in different ways than violence? Because using anger to pitch his voice lower and get that look on Jesse's face was a very productive use of it.

"R-really?" Kurt moved closer, staring right into Jesse's eyes. Oh yes, Sue's gaydar worked perfectly.

"This is completely personal." And then Kurt lunged for him. Jesse didn't even have the chance to form a protest before Kurt was kissing him. For a second the other boy was completely frozen, and then the bag of groceries hit the ground.

Kurt heard them fall with a crash and felt something wet seeping into his loafers, but was really rather busy with this kiss. And wow, had it turned into one hell of a kiss. And fuck, Jesse was enthusiastic about this.

Oh god, was that tongue? No way, Jesse was not going to be the one in control right now, this was _his_ evil scheme!

Kurt twisted so that Jesse was pressed up against the car, and slid a hand down his side. Jesse groaned, and Kurt realized that perhaps this had too much potential to escalate. After all, Jesse's hand was creeping along his waistline, and there was no way in hell Kurt's first time would be in a parking lot.

So he pulled himself out of the kiss, and stood looking at Jesse, panting. The other boy was gaping at him, looking rather adorable with his shirt messed up and his pants…okay, looking at his pants was most definitely out.

"I'll see you at Regionals Jesse." With that Kurt turned and went to his baby, which, he was happy to note, was bigger than Jesse's Rover.

Kurt sighed. More thoughts like that and he end up going back to find out who's car was bigger, and once Jesse regained his senses that might end up with him being punched.

"Wait, what?" Mercedes' voice was full of confusion. "What do you mean, you made sure we'd win regionals?"

Kurt glanced around the choir room to make sure Mr. Schue wasn't going to come in. Most of the glee club was huddled around the piano with him, with the exception of Artie, who could not huddle properly while in a wheelchair.

"It's Jesse." Kurt smiled smugly. "I gave him a taste of his own medicine."

Not surprisingly, Puck figured out what he was talking about first. Dirty minded perv that he was, his first words were "So did you screw him, or what?"

Rachel choked, and the rest of the glee club made similar sounds. Except for Brittany, who gave him a thumbs up.

"No, only kissed him. But I think it was enough." Finn coughed, and Kurt felt a bit of vindictive pleasure. Finn still wasn't forgiven for the "fag" incident by Kurt and his Dad, not entirely.

"You, you, you…" Rachel was almost shaking with fury. "You turned _my ex boyfriend_ gay!"

"Um, actually, that was you cause like, Kurt only kissed him, he was clearly like, unsatisfied before or he wouldn't have really cared." Brittany said. Rachel made a shocked little sound in the back of her throat.

"Thank you Brittany. And I was only doing what was necessary for the glee club. There's no way they're going to be on par for regionals with Jesse not at the top of his game."

"Brilliant." Artie whispered. Puck clapped him on the back, and Mercedes high fived him. Rachel sniffed.

"Though I deny any part in turning Jesse gay, that was a shrewd move Kurt. My congratulations." Kurt beamed.

As Kurt danced on stage to Lady Gaga, he could feel Jesse's eyes on him. The girls plus Kurt had teamed up to make his costume more provocative, and judging by the stare he was getting from Jesse, it was working.

Kurt also made sure to stare at Jesse while he sang. It was obvious that Jesse was seriously off his game, and at the end of "Bohemian Rhapsody", Mercedes was nudging his shoulder and whispering that they had this in the bag.

She was right. New Directions won by a landslide, and Kurt saw several of the kids from Vocal Adrenaline giving Jesse angry looks.

So it wasn't actually that much of a surprise when Jesse grabbed him as he was leaving, dragging him to a random alley by the dumpsters.

"You did that on purpose." Jesse breathed. Kurt wiggled uncomfortably. Jesse was holding him very close, and his hands were sending little tingles straight to his groin.

"You broke Rachel's heart on purpose. Turnabout is fair play." Kurt snapped back. Jesse's grip tightened. Kurt swallowed. He really hoped Jesse wasn't planning on egging him. That had happened before, and Kurt really didn't want his outfit ruined.

"You have no idea…" Then Jesse kissed _him._ Kurt whimpered, arching against the wall and somehow getting his hands under Jesse's shirt. After a few seconds of what Kurt was pretty sure was what Brittany defined as "Second Base", Kurt shoved Jesse off.

"I am _not_ doing this with you. You're a soulless machine, and I don't trust you." Kurt tugged his jacket back up from where it had fallen on the ground and scowled at the dirt. "I'm sending you the bill from my dry cleaner."

As Kurt strode of the alley, he thought he heard a mutter of "Are you fucking serious?" from behind him.

And wondered if perhaps Jesse had more than "turnabout is fair play" in mind when kissing him.

A/N: Reviews means I will be more motivated to finish this. I do plan on continuing, but it's a hell of a lot harder to write the second chapter than the first. Still, I really like these two and now I'm hoping other people ship them. Anyone who wants to tell me in a review should feel free…

Oh, and don't flame me about the couple. It's fan fiction, I can write what I want. I think Jonathan Groff is a great actor who can play a straight man, this fic isn't meant to say he can't. Besides, I crave cookies. Flames will help me bake them. J


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: So about 25ish people have set on story alert, so shall it be. Thanks a bunch for the reviews, and thanks to the people who set story alert but didn't review. You all made me want to add another chapter! And if you reviewed but I didn't respond, just say so in a review and I'll say sorry.

Disclaimer: If I owned glee, this would be how next weeks episode would happen. But I don't own glee. Duh.

"We are the best!" crowed Mercedes, hands on hips. "Finn, move it to the left."

Kurt nodded judiciously, motioning with his hand to the other side of the choir room. "I think it fits best over there, perhaps by the board?"

The four football players in glee, currently trying to drag the outrageously large regionals trophy around the room, glared at Kurt. "Dude, pick a spot. Now." Puck growled.

"Girls? I'm torn between background center and next to the piano." Trying to pick a spot to put a trophy was very fun, mused Kurt. Though he was glad to have opted out of actually helping the guys carry it-his shirt just couldn't handle the wrinkles.

Rachel took a deep breath. "Speaking as someone with _extensive_ knowledge of positioning trophies, I feel it should go by the piano, so as to emphasize the significance of instruments and to grab the attention of all who enter this room, proving that we as a glee club are very attention grabbing!"

Kurt blinked slowly. "Okay princess, by the piano it is."

After another hour of debating ("No, this corner must be at a seventy degree angle exactly, this is 65 degrees!" "No, the light will fall on it better with the western tip facing that way!"), it ended up being Puck who chose the positioning, by putting down his corner and leaving.

"Well, I suppose it looks good enough." Kurt muttered, walking down the hall arm in arm with Mercedes. "The eastern corner should point a bit more towards the door, but-"

Kurt was interrupted by something smelly, and disgusting, and _slimy_ being thrown in his face.

"What the _hell_?" Kurt gagged. Beside him Mercedes was coughing and covering her face with her hands. "What is this?"

"Manure, cat piss, and rotten strawberries. All in one smoothie." Kurt choked, staring at the random girl in front of him. A few other teenagers flanked her, holding empty cups.

"Sally?" Mercedes asked. Kurt glanced at her in surprise. "She's Jesse's co captain in Vocal Adrenaline."

"Are you serious?" Kurt sputtered, still trying to wipe the disgusting substance out of his eyes. "We already beat you!"

"For now." Her tone radiated smugness. "Oh and Kurt? Jesse says hi. He'd have come but we have a date and" She smirked "He's setting up the bedroom." She strutted over to a range rover, while Kurt tried to come up with a smartass answer. "Later, losers."

**GLEE**

"I say we _claw_ her _eyes_ out." Santana hissed, sharpening her nails. Thank the fashion gods none of the girls had left, and now Kurt sat on the counter in the second floor girl's bathroom, the sacred bathroom where girls went only for emergency spa sessions.

"No, we should dump water on the vocal adrenaline electricak system." snarled Rachel. She was dabbing at Mercedes' shirt, clothespin over her nose. "No show choir can operate without good speakers."

"Kurt, I don't think this shirt is going to make it." Quinn said sorrowfully, holding up his Gucci shirt. Kurt sniffled, plucking at the ugly shirt he had stolen from Mike's locker. (Tina had the combination).

"Can't we get the law involved somehow?" grumbled Tina. She was furiously trying to get a stain out of Mercedes' skirt, which had also been splashed. "This has got to be illegal!"

"They didn't press charges with Finn and Puck, we can't with them. And besides, who here hasn't had pee balloons thrown at them? The authorities weren't too helpful then, were they?" Mercedes responded tiredly, tugging at her old pair of cheerio slacks. Luckily Coach Sylvester hadn't incinerated them yet.

"I can't believe Jesse." Kurt muttered. "And Brittany, I think my hair is a lost cause."

From where she was perched on the counter trying to wash Kurt's hair, Brittany nodded. "Yeah, I guess so. Anyways, can we go poison them now?"

"We aren't poisoning anybody!" Quinn said sharply. "We need to do something to cheer ourselves up before getting them back. It's like the pep session after a football game before Puck went and beat the crap out of the other team."

"Our house, tomorrow night. That cool with you Quinn?" Mercedes asked. Quinn nodded.

"I'll text Puck, and tell him to get the beer." Santana whipped out her phone. "Anybody got a problem with bud light?"

After the rounds of "fine" that went through the crowd, Brittany spoke up.

"Like, we should do this more often with just us girls. The guys are never helpful."

"Yes, I agree. At the party I can provide suitably alcoholic snacks. Mercedes, you have that killer stereo right?" Kurt raised his head and prepared to contribute in his role as an honorary girl.

"Oh yeah. Come on, we need to spread the word in the club."

**GLEE**

"What happened?" Kurt tried to appear innocent. In the face of an angry Burt Hummel, it was a difficult act.

"What are you talking about Dad? Ar you can see, I'm perfectly fine. Have you seen my peanut butter?" Kurt had the uncanny feeling that his Dad was staring at him in disbelief.

"You're wearing a white t-shirt and cheerio pants, you smell, and you're preparing for a full out self-spa. You haven't done that since cousin Ernie threw up on your shoulders." Kurt attempted to smile.

"Oh nothing. Just got slushied." Burt raised his eyebrows. "It was a mix of rotten fruit and various animal excrements, quite unsanitary. My Gucci shirt was ruined." Burt blinked, and for a moment Kurt had a wild fantasy of his dad grabbing a shotgun and going after Vocal Adrenaline.

"Those little punks!" Burt scowled. "They're just jealous because your teams destroyed them at regionals. And then you're going to take nationals, correct?" Kurt smiled faintly. "Look, take my credit card and go buy another shirt."

"Dad, that Gucci shirt cost 335 dollars, not counting tax." Burt flinched. "They're very fashionable shirts."

"Um…how about I order your favorite Chinese food." Kurt sighed and nodded. It had taken him a month of working on car's to nonstop to earn enough tip money to buy that shirt, it was unreasonable to expect his Dad to buy him another.

Especially when Burt Hummel clearly did not appreciate the subtle genius of Gucci shirts.

"Okay." Kurt settled down and began to apply peanut butter to his face. He couldn't figure out why he was so bothered by this. After all this wasn't the most expensive thing he had lost to being bullied.

Those smoothies were the vilest way to lose a shirt though. His poor Gucci.

Then why did he feel so terrible?

_Jesse says hi. He'd have come but we have a date and he's setting up the bedroom. _Little slut. Like Jesse was interested in her.

Not that Kurt had any idea what Jesse liked in a girl. Especially as Jesse seemed so…Kurt shivered. _Enthusiastic_ about being with another boy. Maybe Jesse had just been thrown by the mere fact that Kurt had kissed him than any real attraction to a guy. Maybe that kiss in the alley had really just been Jesse trying to get back at him.

Feeling melancholy, Kurt sank back in his chair. He was going so going to get hopelessly drunk tomorrow.

**GLEE**

"H-hey Mercedes, you look really pretty when there's two of you. All curvy." Kurt giggled as Puck tried to feel up Mercedes, his fingers seductively brushing a table leg. "And baby, these are sweet legs."

"Puck, that's my table!"

"Mm, this pillow talk is so fine…" Puck hiccupped. Kurt swallowed another mouthful of beer, laughing loudly. Quinn was the only sober one at the party, and was currently ushering her shitfaced friends out the door.

The party had gone well, Puck showing up with more alcohol than anyone could possibly drink, and Mercedes' fantastic stereo blasting strange music. Oh, and the beer filled hors-d'ouvres had gone over well.

"Kurt, are you good for driving?" Kurt nodded. "You sure?"

"Quinn, would I risk my baby if I wasn't certain? Besides, you've already got to house Finn and Puck for the night, I'm just a b-b-b-urden! I'm just a hunka-hunka burning _llll_ove oh yeah…" Kurt staggered into the night, belting Elvis.

He didn't even like the King!

After half an hour of wandering, Kurt realized that he might have lost his car. Oh well, he could worry about that later! Now he was having too much fun with all these pretty stars…

"Kurt?" A voice that sounded vaguely familiar and very confused entered the drunken haze. "What are you doing out here?"

"H-hi? Do I know who you are?" Kurt asked, cocking his head. A very nice leather jacket, and groceries. "I don't know you. I should scream."

"Are you _drunk?_" Kurt grinned.

"Yup! I can't find my car though…" Kurt tripped over his feet. "I feel funny…"

"Crap, don't puke." The voice sounded very concerned now, for a slightly disembodied voice. Hey, maybe it was the huge floating head in Wizard of Oz!

"Are you the floating head?"

"What?" Kurt realized that now he was feeling sleepy. Not sleepy so much as tired maybe. In fact all of his muscles felt really heavy… "Oh god don't tell me you're going to…"

Strong arms caught Kurt as he fell.

**GLEE**

The first thing he felt was a splitting headache.

Kurt groaned, rolling over. He was in bed, with some of the nicest sheets had ever felt rubbing against his body. He was still wearing his clothes, minus shoes and socks….then the night came flooding back.

"Gyah!" Kurt bolting upright, taking in the unfamiliar room and bed. It was a nice large bed, and very comfortable. Except that Kurt didn't know whose it was. He stared at the walls. A large poster of Whitney Houston, a nice computer sitting in the corner, and clothing covering the floor.

Gee, that was helpful. This could be anybody's room!

"Oh, you're awake!" Kurt scrambled around to face the door. Whoever that was, they were way too loud! "So, do you just lurk outside of 7-11 or what?"

Jesse was leaning against the doorframe, a plate loaded with food in one hand. The unhelpful part of Kurt's mind noticed that Jesse looked adorable even wearing sweatpants and a black t-shirt. Actually, the black shirt was nice…stupid mind.

"What am I doing here?" Kurt really hoped his voice didn't sound that panicked. "Please tell me this isn't a kidnapping attempt."

Jesse smiled and shook his head. He walked over and put the plate of food down next to a glass of water, with two little pills next to it.

"No, I found you outside of 7-11, hopelessly drunk. You collapsed, and I wasn't going to leave you there unconscious. Take the aspirin and eat, you'll feel better."

"I know." Kurt grumbled. "I've been hung over before." After checking to make sure that the pills really were aspirin, he took a swig. For a few seconds Kurt ate as fast as possible, noting that Jesse could cook _really_ well.

"So, why were you drunk outside 7-11?" Kurt glared at Jesse.

"If it's any business of yours, it was a glee club party. We needed a _morale-booster._" Jesse glared back.

"Yeah, it is my business! I had to drag you into my house and feed you, I think I'm entitled to an explanation!" He paused. "And New Directions just took regionals. You don't exactly need a huge morale boosting party after that."

Kurt shot him a scornful look, and chose not to acknowledge Jesse's refusal to acknowledge the incident. "Anyways, where are your parents?"

"Bali. I'm staying with my aunt, but she's away on a business trip." Kurt pushed his plate away and tried to swing out of Jesse's bed in a dignified way.

He promptly failed when his legs refused to support his weight.

"Whoa!" Jesse grabbed him before he could fall, and Kurt's cheeks heated up. It was a perfectly reasonable response to a very hot guy cradling him to his chest. "Hold up there, you were pretty wiped last night."

"What the hell did Puck put in that beer?" Kurt muttered, rubbing his head. Jesse eased him onto the bed, hands brushing over his shoulders and waist. "Anyways, if this is supposed to be some kind of apology breakfast, you're failing. Now go away so I can figure out how to stand up again."

"_What_ am I apologizing _for_?" Jesse snapped, folding his arms over his chest. "I brought you to my house instead of leaving you in a parking lot, I think I at least deserve a thanks!"

Kurt snorted. "Oh, yeah you can act. You and that bitchy girlfriend-"

"What girlfriend?" Jesse sounded genuinely confused. "I don't have a girlfriend, not since Rachel and I broke up."

Kurt rolled his eyes, then regretted it when stabs of pain shot through his head. "Oh funny. I mean that bitch-Sally." Jesse frowned.

"Sally is not my girlfriend, she's my co captain!"

"Not according to her." Kurt muttered. Unfortunately, Jesse seemed to have disturbingly good hearing.

"When have you talked to Sally?" Now Jesse sounded kind of worried. Kurt glared at him.

"When she and your other friends showed up yesterday to toss cat piss and rotten fruit on me!" Jesse appeared shocked.

"They _what?_" Kurt swallowed. "Say that again."

"Yesterday after school, Sally and a few other members of your stinking team came to McKinley and tossed smoothie made of cat piss and rotten fruit on me and Mercedes. According to Sally, you said hi but you were busy setting up the bedroom for a date."

Jesse abruptly stood, grabbing a cell phone off the dresser. He whipped it open and started punching in a number, looking livid. "Go get some clothes from my drawers. I need to call some people."

A/N Wheeeeeeee this is updated! I'm not so sure about this chapter, but it's 12:51 am and I don't want to edit any more. Oh and I think Kurt mentioned liking Whitney Houston in one episode, so I put that poster in Jesse's room. No idea who she is though, so if I screwed up in that just let me know. In a review.

Remember, reviews=happy author=fast updates.


	3. Chapter 3

_Title: Second Weakness_

_Disclaimer: I obviously own glee, because New Directions won regionals and the episode ended with Jesse and Kurt making out. If it didn't, you might want to check the credits. _

_**Responses to people who don't have FF accounts or aren't logged in:**_

_KK: Ok, I don't know a bunch about music. I'm sorry __J. But I did look up Whitney Houston and now realize I have heard a bunch of her stuff, I just had no idea it was her. Thanks for guiding me to the Whitney way!_

_aspiringprole: Sorry that you reviewed chap 1 and I'm just now responding, but my email went screwy so I couldn't find your review when I wrote chap 2. Dom! Kurt is hot, and Sue is tough to write so I'm glad you liked her!_

_: Aw, no name? Oh well, thanks for reviewing anyways! And I love how many people love Jesse/Kurt!_

_NBKitty: Thanks for reviewing, I'm so glad you liked it! _

_A/N: The Glee finale was so fantastic! But…it really screwed up my plotline. I was counting on the glee kids winning, dammit! So, after staying awake all night obsessing over how to work all the new ideas I got from Journey into this story I decided that…_

_Everything happened the same as in the finale, except that New Directions won. And they performed "Bad Romance." Just because that song was fantastic. _

…_If anyone has any other suggestions of how to work this fic around the finale without seriously twisting either of them, let me know! I'm still not totally sure about this method, since I try to make things relatively canon. Says the girl writing the Jesse/Kurt story. _

_**Glee**_

"_What do you mean you can't do anything! Oh sure_, that's an excuse!" Kurt peeked around the doorframe. Much as he disliked being dirty, the thought of wearing Jesse's clothing was creepier than wearing yesterdays shirt. 

And his legs had finally started being useful, just in time to catch the tail end of an argument between Jesse and some random person. 

"No…okay fine. And how am I making this personal? I just think this is going too far…" Jesse rubbed the side of his face with a hand. Kurt took the opportunity to look around the kitchen. A full set of Viking dishware, an enormous fridge…he could use this kitchen. 

"Fine. When are you going to be back anyways?" Kurt leaned in closer. "Oh. Of course I'll be fine. Don't worry, I've got all that planned out. Okay, I'll see you when your plane comes in." 

"Who was that?" Jesse jumped and twisted around. Then he shrugged. 

"Just Shelby. She's in New York finalizing some adoption papers." Kurt nodded and shifted his weight. "You want a ride home?"

His baby was at Mercedes' house…but Mercedes could drive her into school and he didn't really want to reveal where anyone in glee club lived to a member of Vocal Adrenaline. 

After the long, awkward car ride in which they listened to thing news (Kurt felt to uncomfortable to turn on any radio station), Jesse dropped Kurt off in front of his house.

Which raised the interesting question of how the hell he knew where it was. Kurt shivered, and prepared to meet parental wrath. 

**Glee **

Needless to say, Burt Hummel wasn't impressed by his hung over son being dropped off at noon the day after a party. 

Kurt sighed. His dad never grounded him, what with glee after school so often and the fact that when left for hours inside, Kurt usually ended up reorganizing the entire house. 

No, when Kurt did something spectacularly bad, he was banished to the garage. Burt owned a garage, and it was here that Kurt was punished for hours on end. 

Fixing cars. 

Kurt swore and pulled at a green wire. He didn't mind helping out occasionally around the garage, in the months when cars broke down every hour and vacationers wanted their cars fixed fast enough to get to somewhere that _wasn't _Lima. He'd been doing this for two days now, and his weekend was almost over.

But Kurt knew how to fix a car. He had been watching his dad fix cars for years, and before Burt gave him the Navigator, he had made sure that Kurt could take apart and rebuild the engine. 

Thus Kurt was dressed in jeans and a flannel shirt, getting oil all over his face as he tried to fix a fuel leak. Of course his dad had intentionally given him the car that would require him to spend a day at the spa. 

Normally, Kurt would be paid for this. But being dropped off after "Making me worry all night, Mercedes not even knowing where you were and on top of that _underage drinking_" meant Kurt had to work in the garage the entire weekend. Without being paid. 

"There. Really, this lady should just get a new car." Kurt muttered as he crawled out from under the engine tank. "Dad! I'm done!"

"There a rush job in the lot! Just needs a wire replacement, range rover!" Kurt hurried out to the lot and glanced over the car. A big range rover, nothing special. He pulled up to hood and glanced around it, rolling his eyes.

Honestly. Whoever first installed these wires must have been the worst mechanic in the world, if they had come unattached that easily. He bent over and started to reattach the wires, grumbling under his breath about shoddy worksmanship.

"Woah." Kurt went completely still. 

An enormous black range rover. _How_ did he not connect that?

"You're covered in grease." Kurt straightened and glared at Jesse. The other male was staring at him, eyes lingering on his grimy hands and stained pants.

"How very astute of you Jesse. Your mechanic did a terrible job by the way." Kurt bent over again and fished out the old clamps. "Who do you use?"

Yep, keeping it professional. Not thinking about how horrendous he looked in front of Jesse, _again_, at all. 

Yeah, drunkard and greasy mechanic. These were attractive qualities. Jesse was staring at him with a really strange look on his face, and Kurt groaned inside. Why oh why did Jesse's clamps have to choose today to break?

"Um, Gibson's? They're downtown on Filmore street?" Kurt nodded. That was weird, Gibson's was a much better worker than to let clamps break like this.

"Well, next time you see him tell him to get better clamps. I'm done, come into the office and I'll ring you up." Jesse followed Kurt into the relatively clean office, still with that funny expression on his face. 

"That's 60 bucks, unless you want me to redo your wires too." Jesse shook his head. He had immediately sat down in a chair and crossed his legs, glancing around the office in an jumpy way.

"Here. I'll do credit." Kurt mindlessly took the card, then blinked. 

"You have an American Express Centurion Card?" Kurt asked. Whoa. 

"Gift from my parents on my 14th birthday. I get my allowance through it." Jesse shrugged and looked mildly embarrassed, and slightly uncomfortable. "If you don't take them I have cash." 

With a start, Kurt realized that Jesse was _blushing_. Aw, how cute. 

Stupid brain. 

"No, we take almost all credit cards. I've just never seen one before." Kurt rang it up and passed the card back to Jesse. Jesse nodded and stuffed it into his wallet. "You sure you don't want me to fix up the other parts under your hood? If your clamps break that easily, there might be some other things I should fix…"

Jesse swallowed. "Nope. I'm good. I'll see you around." He bolted for his car, and Kurt was left feeling bewildered. 

He looked down at the clamps again. Now that he was looking closer they seemed new, and he couldn't tell how on earth they would break that easily…

**Glee**

That Monday was a good day. The cafeteria lunch was chicken salad, one of Kurt's favorites. The math quiz had been canceled because Ms. Achler got hit in the head by someone's backpack. There was a rumor that glee club was doing Whitney Houston next.

"Kurt!" Mercedes called. "Someone texted you!" Kurt was busy flipping through his 

Ipod trying to find the right Whitney Houston song. 

"Check it then!" Mercedes frowned as she looked at it. 

"You gave Jesse your number?" 

"Of course not, I'm not insane." Maybe _I know him so well_?

"Well, he just texted you." Kurt jerked up. 

"What?" Both of them were in the choir room with all the other glee clubbers, waiting for Mr. Schuester to arrive. "Are you sure?"

Kurt scrambled over to Mercedes and looked at his screen. 

_You in glee club?_

_-Jesse_

Kurt spluttered. "How the hell did he get my number?" He glared at the other glee clubbers. "I left my phone at Mercedes' house, no way he got it from there."

Finn shrugged. Puck didn't even look up from his sexting. Matt shrugged. Mike yawned.

"I didn't do it." said Santana as she carefully drew her brush through Brittany's ponytail. 

"I don't know how to enter a contact." Brittany said.

"Why would anyone give Jesse your number?" asked Artie. "It would be way too suspicious if he asked someone…" All eyes turned to Rachel. She blushed.

"Well he may have had access to my phone a few times while we dated but I don't know why he would have copied all your numbers when he was dating me…" Kurt groaned. "It wasn't my fault!"

"Great. Just great." Kurt deleted the text and plastered a smile to his face when Mr. Schue walked in. 

"Okay guys! Whitney Houston!" It could still be a great day.

**Glee**

Mercedes froze in the school doorway. "Kurt…Jesse is leaning against your car."

Kurt squeaked. Oh god, how was one boy this persistent? Didn't Jesse have a life other than randomly showing up in Kurt's life?

"I can beat him up for you." Offered Puck. Kurt glared at him. Just because Jesse was annoying didn't mean he wanted him beat up! He just wanted him. 

_No_ that thought was random and obviously came from someone else's mind in a strange transfer of thoughts probably due to a leaky chemical plant somewhere. Kurt nodded to himself and spun around.

"I'll just go out by the back doors and take the bus home. I can come back for my baby later. And Puck, don't you dare beat up Jesse." Mercedes nodded and Puck rolled his eyes, grumbling about how he didn't get to have any fun anymore. Kurt proceeded through the hallways, absently noting that Sue was looking particularly annoyed. 

The back of McKinley high was a place Kurt preferred to avoid most of the time. It was disgusting, since Figgins fired all the janitors in September. It also smelled like a mix of cigarettes and pot smoke. 

Not at all a place for Kurt, who knew that smoking gave you _yellow teeth_ and ruined your nails. 

Oh, and it gave you cancer. Therefore, Kurt tried to avoid second hand smoking. But in these circumstances, he could hold his breath and hurry along. Better that than have to encounter Jesse. 

"Hey you! Faggy Mc. Loser-pants!" Oh right. The people who smoked back here were usually the jocks, of the same fashion challenged type who often didn't appreciate Kurt's taste in style and in men. 

"I see the Neanderthal population of Lima has come out. Tell me, do you two know how to make fire yet?" Crap. One of the things Kurt knew perfectly well but never managed to accomplish was to keep his mouth _shut_ around jocks. And around dumpsters. 

"You tryin to suggest we ain't smart?" One of them asked. There were three jocks, all wearing football jerseys. 

Why was that anyway? Football season was over!

The one who had spoken was the tallest, with terribly cut red hair and a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. 

"Oh no, you're the next _Einstein_." Crap, crap, crap. The three jocks started advancing, one shucking off his jacket and another starting to crack his knuckles. "And can you not approach me? Your breath stinks of failure." 

The jocks apparently took that as a signal to come closer, and the red head grabbed Kurt's collar. "You sayin' you want to get beat to a crap?"

"N-no, not at all." 

"I think he's saying he wants to get beat to a crap." One of the other jocks said. Kurt swallowed. This would be two shirts ruined in a week! And possibly his face being pounded in. 

"Yeah, I feel it." The red head slammed him against a dumpster. Kurt tried to make a run for it, wrenching himself free of the jock's grasp and bolting for the door back in. Another jock grabbed him and hurled back into the dumpster. The red head grabbed his collar again, very tightly.

"You think you're too fast for us? Think that a wimpy little faggot can get the better of McKinley's finest?" Kurt gagged at the smell of his breath. If he got lung cancer because of this jackass, he'd come to McKinley and personally strangle each one. 

Even though now that wasn't the most prevalent concern. Kurt's back was hurting from being slammed against a metal dumpster twice, and his shoulders hurt where that other jock had grabbed him.

"Well if you're McKinley finest, god help McKinley's worst." If he was going to die, Kurt was going to die knowing he had gone out making wisecracks, dammit!

The jock scowled and drew back his fist. Kurt closed his eyes. 

"Is there a problem here gentlemen?" Oh, hell no. Out of every person in Ohio…

Kurt cracked open his eyes to look at Jesse. He stood just behind the jocks, arms crossed over his chest. And with that I-am-so-in-control look on his face he had right before singing "Another One Bites The Dust."

"Whoo, looks like our local faggot got himself a bf!" chortled one of the jocks. Jesse just raised an eyebrow at the jock. Kurt winced. As nice as Jesse looked in a leather jacket, he was nowhere near the size of McKinley's halfbacks. 

"Yeah, whatever. Now let. Go. Of. Kurt." The jocks exchanged gleeful looks. Getting to beat up two gays in one day was probably going to be the highlight of their year.

"Oh, he is serious! Sam, grab him! We can pound their faces in, _together._" Kurt prepared to watch Jesse get beat up. 

One of the jocks lunged forward to grab Jesse, his face twisted up in an unattractive expression of malicious pleasure. 

_Crack!_

The jock wheeled back, swearing at the top of his lungs. Kurt blinked a couple times, trying to figure out what had happened. 

The jock was doubled over, his nose gushing blood. 

Jesse was rubbing his knuckles.

Oh my god, Jesse just punched out one of the patented McKinley brand thugs. Kurt stared at the swearing jock for a second, fighting down the urge to start cheering. 

That was just his inner Cheerio. And the fact that _Jesse_ punched out a _jock_ and that was five kinds of awesome and 15 kinds of hot. Kurt had fantasized about Finn doing this, but he knew perfectly well that was never going to happen.

And he doubted Finn could pack that much of a punch. Whatever cereal Jesse ate, Kurt had to start munching it. 

"Why you son of a-" A jock drew his fist back lividly. Jesse eyed him in an almost amused way, then shifted his weight and kicked.

Ooo that had to hurt. The jock crumpled, a look of shock and agony written over his features. Jesse smiled in a satisfied kind of way and turned to the jock currently pinning Kurt to the dumpster.

"Now, let go of Kurt before I go Clint Eastwood on your ass." The jock dropped Kurt and he sank to the ground, rubbing his throat. "Actually…"

Jesse's fist hit the jock right in the jaw, in a perfect right hook. Jesse looked smug as a cat amongst the various defeated jocks. Like a knight in leather jacketed armor. 

…did Kurt actually think that? He shook his head violently and took the hand Jesse offered to him. Kurt blushed bright red as Jesse pulled him to his feet and put a hand on his shoulder. 

"Are you okay Kurt?" Jesse sounded _so_ genuine and caring it was impossible not to give in. 

"U-um yeah. Er, thanks. I owe you an enormous favor." Jesse eyed him for a moment, and Kurt went red. Again. 

"It was no problem. I hate football jocks anyway." Jesse released his hand and started towards the parking lot. "I'll see you around Kurt." 

Kurt was left feeling a vague mixture of swept off his feet and bedazzled by pure awesomeness. 

**Glee**

"_Jesse_ punched out three jocks!" Mercedes exclaimed. In yet another session of huddling around the piano, Kurt was busy telling yesterday's adventure to his best friend. Plus Santana, Brittany, Tina, and Quinn, who were girls and so entitled to Kurt's gossip sessions.

Yes Rachel was a girl, but somehow the sisterhood (Kurt was an honorary sister) never ended up with Rachel present. Usually she was too busy staring at Finn. 

"Yes!" Kurt whispered. His eyes glowed, and his cheeks were a faint pink. 

"Wait, you mean Jesse is the reason why Karrofski and Watterson are so beat up?" Finn broke into the conversation, and Kurt realized that he should have done this in the girl's bathroom instead. 

There, even if Mercedes felt the need to yell out Jesse's heroic deeds, no one would be around to hear her. 

"Dude, this kid is so much more badass than he looks." Puck said, looking pleased. "We should totally invite him next time the basketball team goes out and gets into a fight outside the mall." 

Kurt sighed loudly. "Puck, I don't think Jesse goes around starting random fights. He was just defending me." 

Huh. That was the first time Kurt ever got to say that someone was defending him. It was…a comforting feeling. If it the defender was Jesse st. James. 

"Excuse me!" Rachel bulled her way into the group of people around the piano. She stared right at Kurt. "Is everyone forgetting who we're talking about?"

Kurt slowly shook his head. Rachel rolled her eyes. 

"This is Jesse! With me he used my desire for a strong singing partner to seduce me into meeting my mother, and he's doing the same thing to Kurt!"

"My mother is dead." Thanks for reminding me Rachel. 

"He's defending you, feeding off your subconscious urge to be looked after, in order to get what he wants! He obviously has an ulterior motive Kurt, and frankly, after we took regionals, he'll want to compromise you! It's revenge, and even though Kurt is a much less important piece of our team than I am, that Lady Gaga number was a deciding factor in our performance!"

Inwardly, Kurt swore. He _had_ forgotten. This was Jesse, determined enough that he would sleep with Rachel to introduce her to Shelby, good enough actor to fool all of New Directions into trusting him! 

He'd been a fool to start to like Jesse even the tiniest bit. 

"Come on Kurt. You can sleep over at our house tonight, we'll do nails. Jesse isn't that important anyways, the next regionals isn't for another year." Bless Mercedes and Quinn. Quinn was a surprisingly perfect fit in to Mercedes' and Kurt's sleepovers, especially since she had so many embarrassing stories about people.

Well, Kurt was an honorary girl. If he wasn't entitled to a bitch-out session at least once a month, then all his clothing should have been burned by now. 

**Glee**

Kurt frowned as he pulled into the driveway the next afternoon. Something was wrong. He could feel it in his bones. 

"Dad!" Kurt opened the door to his house and walked into the kitchen. There was a plate in the sink. Kurt examined it more closely.

Chicken salad. Since when did his dad eat chicken salad? 

"Oh Kurt, I'm glad your home!" Kurt sighed in relief. There was his dad, standing in the doorway to the kitchen.

…a plate in his hand. Who else was in _his_ house? 

"Your friend is all moved in. Now I don't like that you just sprang this on me, but we've got enough room in the basement with you and since he's nice enough and needs a place to stay this badly, I'll make an exception."

Kurt's heart turned to stone. No way. No _freaking _way. 

"Hey Kurt. There's more chicken salad in the fridge." Dread mounting in his stomach, Kurt turned around. 

Jesse st. James leaned against the doorframe, smiling. 

**Glee**

A/N: I feel very accomplished for writing all this. 

Oooo that reminds me! I don't know if there's an official couple name for Jesse/Kurt. See, I know that Jessurt is my dessert, and Kesse is kissy and st. hummel is logical, but I'm not sure which is the most widely used name. So, feel free to tell me in a review. 

**ARE YOU HAPPY NOW, YINN-SOF****É?**


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Heh heh…so, how long has it been? Month and a halfish, right?

Please don't kill me…

But wait! I have an excuse. See, my bffl who gets me to update was at summer camp, so there was no one to remind me! And this chapter annoyed me. It was annoying and difficult and I expect lots of reviews to make up for my trouble! Please?

HearmeCalling: Would have replied earlier, but you aren't logged in. First; Believe me, the underline wasn't intentional. I really wish I knew how it happened and how to prevent it, but I don't. Glad you read anyway though!

As to the oocness, I'm not Ryan Murphy. This is just my perception of the characters, sorry if you think differently. Puck isn't defensive of Kurt, he just likes beating people up, and we know that every male in New Directions would have beat up Jesse after she was egged in Funk, and she isn't particularly popular. I think Puck would jump at the opportunity to beat up Jesse. As to Jesse, I thought that greasey Kurt freaked him out slightly and he's more used to being in control. But as stated, I'm not Ryan Murphy. I might be wrong, read at your peril. : )

But um, glad you like it despite? And thanks for the constructive criticism, it's always appreciated. But please, login next time so I can reply to the review in a lengthier way.

Disclaimer: I admit it. I am Fox corporations. I own glee. Believe at your own risk.

Kurt slammed the door to his room shut. "_What_ in _hell_ was my Dad talking about?" He hissed. Jesse smiled.

"Oh, I just moved in with you. Are you sure you don't want any chicken salad? It's freshly made-"

"_Forget about the chicken salad!_ Why are you in my house? How the hell did you convince dad to let you move in? And furthermore, how did you move in this _fast?_" Kurt had been gone 36 hours and Jesse managed to move in?

Though…Kurt's room was pretty much as he had left it, and the fancy couches and beautiful lamps which mixed the masculine and the feminine were all in place. But the privacy partition was open, and it looked like the bed behind it was made.

"Well, I saw you leave school and drive away, with Mercedes. I've been planning to move for awhile and this was just" Jesse leaned back. "The perfect opportunity."

"I can report you for stalking." Jesse smiled in a feline way. His entire demeanor screamed _"But you won't, because I'm sexy." _

Kurt shoved that thought out of his head. "And my Dad let you into the house _why_?"

"Well, as a good friend of yours from glee who is in such desperate need of a room for awhile, and what with my cooking skills and politeness well, your Dad just couldn't say no."

"You sweet talked my dad." Christ, how good an actor was Jesse?

"Basically."

"But…why do you need a room anyway?" Kurt was observant enough to notice the change in Jesse's body. He had gone to 'relaxed greek god of sex' to 'nervous 16 year old boy', faster than Mercedes could text.

"Well, I um, live with Coach Shelby." Kurt started. He liked Mr. Schue well enough, but he'd never live with the man.

"_Why?"_ Jesse flushed. It was subtle, but he was definitely embarrassed.

"My parents winter in Bali. And summer in Madrid, and spend Fall in Paris or Barcelona depending on the weather, and spend Spring in Hawaii. So I normally stayed with my grandmother but then when I was a freshman she had a heart attack and died, and I needed a place to stay."

"So you automatically sought out your heartless vocal coach." Kurt deadpanned.

"Look, I didn't have a bunch of options. The only other option was that my parents would hire a nanny, which is frankly insulting." Kurt nodded. Much as he appreciated and often took advice from Fran Fine, most nannies scared him.

"Then _why me?_" Finally! The point of why on earth Kurt suddenly had a roommate.

"Shelby's adopting a daughter. I got the boot." Jesse was staring down at his hands, and Kurt felt a surge of pity. Oh poor Jesse being kicked out of his house… "You owed me a favor, so I invaded your house."

Wait. "You said you had been planning this. You saved me from those jocks _so that I would owe you a favor?_" Rachel was right!

Wow, never thought he'd ever honestly think that.

Jesse was just a lying heartless bastard who Kurt was going to kick out of his house as soon as that bastard moved out of the way of the door.

"Get out of the way, I'm getting dad to throw you out." Jesse didn't move. "I said move."

"No." Jesse shifted and put his hands on Kurt's shoulders. He stared deep into Kurt's eyes, and leaned closer. "Please. If you don't, I may have to move to Madrid. And then to Paris, and then to Bali, and then to Hawaii."

Wow. Jesse had _gorgeous_ eyes. Kurt's mouth formed the words without his brain's consent.

"Only for a few days."

**Glee**

"I'll cook." Kurt froze. His brain had come down from the high of Jesse's overwhelming eyes, and he was now ready for war. Which Jesse had just declared.

"I do the cooking." Ever since Kurt's mother died. Kurt had become master of the kitchen, the only one permitted to touch the stove. Jesse eyed him.

"Well, I've cooked a lot for Shelby." Kurt glared at Jesse.

"Yes, but I know how to cook."

"Well, so do I." Oh, Kurt could tell. This was going to be an attempt to weasel his way further into the Hummel household. Burt was a sucker for home cooking.

"I was going to prepare something special." Well, no he wasn't. But Kurt was sure he could think up something good-his dad considered _lasagna_ a fancy dish. Anything to get Jesse out of his kitchen.

"Then maybe I can help you." Kurt took a deep breath, preparing to bullshit something about how he needed absolute solitude to be a culinary master.

"Kurt!" Burt looked amused. "For crying out loud, you were telling me that you needed more hands just yesterday. Jesse, aprons are in the closet." Jesse smiled at Burt in an innocent lying way, and disappeared into the kitchen.

"Dad…" Kurt's dad clapped him on the back.

"Kurt, having another cook in the house won't undermine you, I swear. Now go on, have fun." Kurt spluttered as his dad took a seat on the couch. Of course Jesse was going to somehow undermine him! That was what evil people from vocal adrenaline _did!_

Of course, Burt had no idea that Jesse was evil. Damn. And it would really hurt Kurt's pride to go running to his dad rather than solve this on his own.

"Kurt? Are you coming to help or what?" Kurt whirled around, his mouth opening to yell something rude. He never managed to say it.

Jesse was wearing an apron.

It was pink and frilly, adorned with a bright red heart over the chest and the words "Kiss the cook" written on it in curly letters. Oh dear god.

He looked _absurd._ Kurt carefully kept the evil grin off his face as he whisked past Jesse into the kitchen, taking his phone from his back pocket and pressing the button with a camera on it.

**Glee**

"Great meal boys!" Burt said, belching. Jesse and Kurt smiled at him, both plates still piled with food. Burt's plate was nearly licked clean, and the various platters scattered over the table were almost empty. "Jesse, fantastic Filet Mignon."

Jesse smirked.

"Kurt, the cheese soufflé was wonderful."

Kurt smirked.

"You two have a very competitive friendship don't you?" Burt eyed them both, and Kurt spluttered. He wasn't sure how to explain that Jesse wasn't actually his friend and fellow glee clubber but actually an evil rival who was there because Kurt owed him a huge favor and because Jesse had annoyingly persuasive eyes.

"Well, a little bit. We try to suppress it." Jesse smiled at Burt in a ridiculously charming way. Kurt seethed and the two began to talk, and it was revealed that Jesse magically loved football and Top Gun and Deadliest Catch, just like Burt.

What. An. Astonishing. Coincidence.

"I'm going to my room. Night dad," Kurt managed a ghoulish smile. "Night Jesse."

Jesse smiled up at him. Kurt could see the evil in his eyes.

"Night Kurt. I'll try not to wake you up."

"Goodnight son. Now Jesse, if Tom Brady and Derrick Brooks were on the same team against Peyton Manning and…" Kurt headed down to the basement. He had no idea who any of those people were, and frankly he didn't care.

"Hello, payback." Kurt sat down at his computer and brought up his facebook page. "Jesse st. James, prepare to feel the burn."

**Glee**

Kurt walked into New Directions a hero. The other cheerios were gathered around the Cheerio laptop, giggling. The football players were gathered around another laptop, roaring with laughter. Rachel was trying to see what everyone was laughing at.

"Kurt! You rock!" Finn called. He was grinning, and Kurt's heart skipped a beat.

"Why, thank you Finn Hudson."

"What happened?" Rachel broke into the conversation. "Puck won't let me see the computer, and neither will Santana."

"Look." Finn spun the laptop around. Rachel gasped, and Kurt laughed wickedly.

There, for the world to see, was a picture of Jesse st. James, in a ridiculous pink apron.

"How did you even get that photo Kurt?" Mercedes asked. She wasn't smiling. In fact, the former cheerio was frowning, and scrolling down on her phone.

"He moved in with me." She blinked. "Well, more of made himself my roommate. Long story."

"Dude, that guy is so gay." Puck muttered. Kurt groaned.

"Gee, Puck what tipped you off?"

"Kurt, are you sure posting that picture was smart?" Mercedes asked hesitantly. Kurt snorted.

"Please. He'd do the same to any of us in a heartbeat, and he and his buddies have done worse than that!" Rachel nodded vigorously. Mercedes glanced down at her phone again.

"Well, I hope you're right. Because the rest of Vocal Adrenaline is _pissed_." Mercedes held up her phone. "Their website has that photo on it, and some of the comments are brutal." Kurt took her phone and glanced over the comments. He winced.

"Oh." So much for team loyalty. "But he's their lead singer. They'll take him back, just like we haven't kicked out Rachel over the number of embarrassing things she's done to us."

Mercedes shrugged. "Yeah, I guess. But you sound an awful lot like Miss Sylvester."

**Glee**

"_**Kurt!"**_ Jesse thundered. Kurt looked up from the latest Vogue. "Kurt!"

"Oh, Jesse. Can you not be so loud, I'm trying to read." Jesse snatched the magazine out of Kurt's hands. "Hey!" Jesse leaned over him, glaring.

"I _just_ found out that there is an _interesting_ picture of me circulating the internet." Kurt shrugged indifferently. "Shelby is going to kill me!"

"So?" Jesse rubbed the bridge of his nose. "You don't live with her anymore, does it matter?"

"She's my coach. She doesn't care if I live in another school district, but she may care that my entire team hates me!" Kurt swallowed. He had been thinking that maybe if Jesse was mad enough, he wouldn't want to live with Kurt anymore.

"Your team doesn't hate you." Jesse laughed in a cynical way.

"Oh, believe me they do. We _work_ because there is no emotion-do you realize that you just screwed up the _entirety of Vocal Adrenaline!"_ Kurt blinked.

"Really?" That was great! "For how long?" Jesse swore.

"_Why_ do you have to be a part of New Directions?" Jesse suddenly brightened. Kurt gulped. He really didn't like that look.

"Jesse…" Jesse ignored him. He was already texting someone. "What are you doing?"

"Mmm. Gotta go Kurt." Jesse hurried out the door, leaving Kurt feeling very, very, confused. Finally, he picked up his copy of Vogue and buried himself in a critique of a male model.

**Glee **

"Where have you been?" Jesse sat down on the couch. He stretched out, smiling with the lazy confidence of a sleepy tiger.

"Around. Is your dad in?" Kurt shook his head.

"He works late Wednesdays." Jesse smiled. He was looking far better than earlier, dressed in tightly fitting jeans and his typical leather jacket. He looked very, very, hot.

"That's great. I'll cook dinner tonight."

"We've got tons of leftovers from last night-" Jesse held up a hand and rose from the couch. He slid over to Kurt and gently took the other boy's shoulders, pushing him down into a chair.

"Kurt. I'm cooking dinner for you. Now go be grateful." Jesse picked up the remote and turned on Grey's Anatomy. "Watch television. Relax." Kurt stared in bewilderment as Jesse vanished into the kitchen.

True, a long fantasy of Kurt's was watching television in the den while a stunning man cooked him dinner, but he had always pictured the man to be more like Finn Hudson, and a lot more trustworthy.

"Kurt! Dinner!" Jesse ushered Kurt into the dining room. The lights were dimmed and the table set for two. With candles. "I made a delicious sauce of duck and glazed peaches, with a chocolate mousse for dessert." Kurt blinked.

"Okay." If Jesse thought he was going to fall for some good cooking, then he was sadly mistake-oh god that duck sauce was _fantastic._ "This isn't fooling me."

Jesse smiled innocently. "Fooling you?" Kurt glared at Jesse and stabbed a peach.

"I bet you did the same thing to Rachel." Jesse sighed. His eyelids drooped, his posture slumped, his eyes turned sad.

"Kurt, Shelby asked me to. I couldn't refuse her. And I never cooked Rachel anything. She wasn't…I'm doing this by choice." As Kurt stared into Jesse's mournful eyes, he came to a realization.

Jesse was calculating every move. Being in Vocal Adrenaline made him into a soulless automaton, and each move was meant to pull on Kurt's delicate heartstrings.

"Oh…I mean, thanks?" Kurt smiled back at Jesse, putting a little sheepishness and little lust in his eyes. If you can play this game, so can I, he thought vindictively. "So um…where did you buy the duck?"

Almost an hour of Jesse being charming and Kurt stammering and blushing, Jesse stood up and yawned, lifting his arms over his head. Kurt had a feeling that it was no coincidence that his shirt raised enough to see several inches of muscled abdomen.

"I think I'll shower and turn in. Kurt?" Kurt coughed and blushed.

"Ah, I showered earlier. I'm just going to do my facial and climb into bed." Jesse shrugged and headed for the bathroom. As soon as he was out of sight, Kurt bolted for his phone.

_Brit&Santana-how do you screw with a guy's mind? _Thank god for his cheerio contacts. This was going to be an interesting game…

A/N: Please god let this not come out underlined. I have no idea how that happened to the last chap, but it wasn't intentional.

Oh, and reviews are always great!


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